Rachel just had her second baby, a beautiful little boy. Aside from the fact that she is the type of person I aspire to be like, I am beyond excited for her and can feel the love that her family has for him from here, across a computer screen.
I just cry because when I read her birth story for Nova it is so beautiful and I can’t wait to have a connection with a baby, a baby that belongs to us, a baby that is ours. Our own creation, our little child to raise together.
You will be the best dad, I can already see how that little one will make your heart grow and explode in ways you didnt think could happen, ways you didnt know possible.
I cant wait to experience life with you. I’ve been so stuck in this mind frame lately. I mean I feel like we experience things together now, but I want to really really experience every day with you. Waking up and sleepy goodnight kisses and spontaneous days off of work to take adventure day trips, and redoing your condo to fit our style and what we life. And later on, lil babies. Oh life. We’ve got a little over 2 years to wait.
I just want to talk with you and really ask you about the way things are un your life and get to know my future wife.
when you text me at 12:06am to tell me happy 2 year anniversary.
you’ve got me good.
Its been really hard, that has become evident after spending the day with you. You kept telling me that you’re handling it fine and it hasnt phased you, but it has and I’m sorry. I really wish I could come up with more adequate words for it, but I’m sorry.
That you had to live with your dying grandfather for the past 3 weeks and attend to him 24/7. That you have given all that you have and that now you feel depleted of everything. I’m sorry that you have had to take on so much responsibility at 19, that so much has been thrust upon you.
I wish I could be with you to hold your hand and hug you and make you feel okay, to remind you that you aren’t through, that this isn’t the end or all that you have in you-that you are so much more and have so much more in you but sometimes we feel like we are empty when we are really just half full.
I wish I could rub your back until you fall asleep and stay tangled and cuddled up together, because we both know you haven’t really slept at all, and together sleep is better than alone sleep.
I love you I love you. I’m here through all of this, always, no matter what.